With regard to whatever objects give you delight, are useful, or are deeply loved, remember to tell yourself of what general nature they are, beginning from the most insignificant things. If, for example, you are fond of a specific ceramic cup, remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond. Then, if it breaks, you will not be disturbed. If you kiss your child, or your wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus you will not be disturbed if either of them dies.
This one has been the hardest for me in the Enchiridion.
I accept it, yet would like to reject it.
Apply this idea to your favorite coffee-mug, or to your car, or even to your house, and you will find it easy to say: “nah, it’s not hard at all, I can be philosophical about this”.
Apply it to the most important people in your life, and you’ll find yourself wanting to negotiate with fate.
The nature of coffee-mugs is that they sometimes go to pieces when they make contact with another item. When an accident happens, the mug is shattered. Give your cup enough service-hours, and it is likely to happen.
The nature of fortune is that “shit happens”. To expect anything else is foolish. Prepare yourself, the best you can.
The third chapter of Enchiridion is short, but short does not mean easy!
The nature of humans is that they die.
There’s sickness, old age and death.
- The first one may come to anyone anytime
- The second is reserved for those who are lucky enough to make it so far
- The last one is for everyone.
That means also the ones you love the most.
That means eventually you too.
Every relationship you have, must come to an end, in one way or another.
The teaching here is not that you shouldn’t love or have a favorite mug or that you shouldn’t have “objects that give you delight”. It includes a serious warning: do not set yourself up for an extra catastrophe by expecting the reality to be different than it is.
Take your chances and enjoy what you have and do not take anyone or anything for granted.
Remember what is the nature of each thing.
This teaching gives an increased sense of urgency in relationships and puts little annoyances in perspective.
The practice hurts when you do it: that is how you know it works.
Sources
Epictetus, the Enchiridion – Commentary chapter 3 – by Dr. Sadler
https://youtu.be/rwEDa6oW5EY?t=24m27s
Enchiridion by Epictetus
http://www.sacred-texts.com/phi/epi/enchir.txt
Enchiridion by Epictetus
http://www.san.beck.org/Epictetus.html
Fate Permitting 
This thought came to me today–“The Sun in Morning”—I thought about it for a while and it triggered in my mind, the son in mourning–Perhaps I had been secretly depressed about losing my Father to Alzheimer’s five years ago.
He was a Vietnam Veteran who I was blessed enough to see through until his death.
Epictetus’s Analogy of the Cup came to my mind. It is a strong Metaphor for Love, Loss, and Healing.
This is why I admire Epictetus as a Teacher and a Human Being
Thanks for your fine article
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Thank you for your comment. Epictetus’ chapter 3 is a tough teaching, but a necessary one for each of us, sooner or later! What a great Teacher he was! We are blessed to have his words still with us.
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