I stumbled on Stoicism around 2015. I was watching videos from a guy who distilled practical wisdom from teachings, old and new, and in one of those, one of the old Stoics were mentioned with examples of their teachings.
I was immediately hooked, as this philosophy rang true to me. It was like finding my philosophical home, and I still feel like that, after better and worse times with it.
I took in the teachings about objective judgement, not believing the automatic thoughts, the dichotomy of control and all that good stuff! The message was sometimes muddled by various sources of Internet-broicism and the ones that mix Philosophy of Life with success-chasing, winning, productivity, or talk about stuff like installing ”a new Operating System of the mind”, ”Use Stoicisim to 10x your productivity!”
Also, the good teachers warned me of not taking myself too seriously, not thinking that Stoicisim is about ”sucking it up” or suppressing emotions, and definitely not withdrawing from the actual world where stuff happens, and where things get done. Stoics sometimes talked about renounciation, but I doubt they meant for me to spend all my time inside my own head, trying to be ”Philosophical” and shit. I doubt any Philosphy of Life promotes that, really.
Many times along my path on Stoic Philosophy, what would be vital to me, the cheerfulness to combat my natural tendency for gloominess, the letting go to combat my tendency clinging to things, the acceptance of impermanence and the ”Just Do It”-mentality to combat my anxiety and over-analytic mind, the easy-going natural way of being and doing to combat my tendency to make things difficult and complicated, was lost.
I tried to force it, and it turns out, I was not very good at it.
So, after a bit away from my books and Stoic sources, I am coming back.
This time to live in effortless action, acceptance, flowing with the nature, while doing my best to keep my head screwed tight enough on my shoulders.